They Say I'm Crazy

So I thought I would check out there story a little closer…Let’s examine their space program in order to gauge how far these people are living from reality.

I began researching this story by determining the distance they claim the Moon is from the Earth. Truth be told, it is impossible to measure this distance. The Earth the Moon and the Son are in a state of perpetual motion. Have you ever noticed that the Son is at different locations from the beginning of the day till the end of the day. How about when you look at the Moon and one minute She is behind you and the next She is in front of you. Back to their story…They claim that the Moon is fixed at a distance of 239,000 miles away from the earth. That means that a round trip visit would require enough gas to go 478,000 miles. We will assume that “Jet fuel” gets good mileage. Since they claim to be going thousands of miles per hour, however, there is no doubt that they cannot be getting that great of gas mileage. For the sake of discussion we will guesstimate that they get 20 miles per gallon. If you divide 478,000 miles by 20 you will require 23,900 gallons for round trip travel. A gallon of gasoline weighs approximately 6lbs. 23,900 x 6 = 143,000 lbs. These heathen’s do not claim to have been able to mine for oil on the Moon. If they were allowed to visit Her, I Am sure they would have tried to suck Her blood dry. Therefore, every “space shuttle” expedition requires a minimum of 143,000 pounds of cargo. Not exactly ideal weight when you are supposed to be flying to the Moon 239,000 miles away at Mach Speed from Kennedy Space Center. Remember Joe Kennedy founded RKO Pictures. Like Anthony Kiedis says:

Space might be the final frontier, but it was made in a Hollywood basement.

I was curious to sea how much they claimed their spacecraft weighed. As always, there stupidity exceeds my wildest expectations.

The Space Shuttle weighs 165,000 pounds empty. Its external tank weighs 78,100 pounds empty and its two solid rocket boosters weigh 185,000 pounds empty each. Each solid rocket booster holds 1.1 million pounds of fuel. The external tank holds 143,000 gallons of liquid oxygen (1,359,000 pounds) and 383,000 gallons of liquid hydrogen (226,000 pounds). The fuel weighs almost 20 times more than the Shuttle. At launch, the Shuttle, external tank, solid rocket boosters and all the fuel combined has a total weight of 4.4 million pounds. The Shuttle can also carry a 65,000 payload.

They should have had Me help them sell their space story. I could have helped them shed 4,257,000 lbs from their payload. Making their story a little less un believable. I am about to make it impossible for them to carry this space story any further…Let’s consider how big 4.4 million pounds really is (we need perspective). The Queen Mary weighs 140 tons. There are 2,000 pounds in a ton, 2,000 x 140 = 288,000 pounds. If you divide 4.4 million by 288,000 you get 15.22. Does the Apollo spaceship look like it is 15 times larger than the Queen Mary? There is a reason the first astroNOT was named BUZZ. Our best mathematicians are supposed to be rocket scientist. It would seem that not even their stories add up. Puts this Institutional education in perspective. I wanted to further humor this situation and sea how long they claimed it took for them to travel to the Moon. Comedy is what I received…This is the first story I came across… Freaking Jackal Richard Branson over at Virgin is pedaling one hell of a story:

In a recent interview, Richard Branson outlined his vision for Virgin Galactic's future. Once tourists are taken into Earth orbit, it seems possible that space hotels could be developed for longer stop-overs in space. He then went on to mention that short "sight-seeing" tours to the Moon could be started from these ultimate hotels. If we are to make travel to the Moon routine enough to send tourists there, the trip would need to be as short as possible. So how long is the commute from the Earth to the Moon anyway? Man and machine have made that trip already, some took a very long time, and others were astonishingly fast…

Manned missions do it quicker: 3 days, 3 hours, 49 minutes
Next up, the Apollo missions in comparison were fairly quick to reach the Moon. The Apollo 11 astronauts were launched atop a huge Saturn V multi-stage rocket on July 16th 1969 from Kennedy Space Centre and sent quickly on their way. They reached lunar orbit after only three days in space on July 19th 1969.

By far the fastest mission to fly past the Moon was NASA's New Horizons Pluto mission. This mission had a speedy launch, rockets powering the probe to over 58,000 km/hr to give it a good start on its long trip to the outer Solar System and Pluto. Although this is impressive, it's worth keeping in mind that New Horizons was not slowing down to enter lunar orbit (like the Moon-specific missions above), it was probably still accelerating as the Moon was a dot in its rear view window.

So, space tourism companies have a few options for their sight-seeing tours around the Moon. They could offer long cruises, gently gliding to the Moon, using ion engines to slowly let the tourists take in the views, or they could opt for the exhilarating rocket ride of a lifetime, getting tourists there and back in a day or two… not sure which option I'd prefer…

This is why Bob says:

I sea men sailing on their ego trips

Blasting off on their space ships

A million miles from reality

No care for you, no care for Me

We will examine their fastest “mission”. Remember- whether it involves a mission or missionary position…The one thing you know for certain is people are getting lied to and fucked. There are 1.6 miles per kilometer. That means that they were traveling 60% faster than 58,000 miles per hour. This equals an average speed of 92,800 miles per hour. Mach speed is 760 MPH. This is also known as the “speed of light”. They are claiming to go 122 times faster than the speed of light. The reason nobody has ever scene a space ship that is 15.22 times the size of the Queen Mary flying to the moon at 122 times the speed of light is because it Never Happened.